Mon Ange Sous La Pluie
by Blond Gamer Girl
Summary: Prequel to Worthy. The romance of Lucius and Narcissa and subsequent years. Lucius' tragic childhood thwarts his happiness at every turn while Narcissa stands by him as best as she can. DM/HG are a couple in my series. See profile for anthology order.
1. Scars

Chapter 1 Scars

Within the richly decorated study of mahogany, dark leathers, old books and opulent magical antiquities, a wizard in his late thirties with sandy blond hair and stocky build thrust his crackling wand into the stomach of a tall, lean, teenaged boy of fourteen with long silver hair and vibrant blue eyes. After seven shots of pain the boy collapsed so the wizard stabbed his crackling wand into the boy's back.

_I wonder if that tiny scuff could be from a secret passage._ The boy's face rested on the cold hardwood floor of the wizard's study.

"How many times have I told you to cut that hair?" Grabbing the boy's hair and a knife, he viciously hacked it off.

Somberly, the boy swallowed the blood in his mouth. _Don't make a mess on the Oriental rug._ With only eight shots of pain to his stomach and chest, this time things were far better than before. The pain pulsated through him as if someone tore his insides. _Keep control of your emotions or it will only be worse_. Suddenly, the back of his shirt ripped open. Crack! Unexpectedly, a riding crop ripped through his flesh like a knife. To his horror, a scream erupted from his lips on the third strike.

"One of the eight was a Mudblood," his torturer screamed. "How could you let one of those surpass you?"

_Hide your pain._ "Because the professor feels sorry for them and shows them favoritism because of their filthy heritage," he replied.

A bellowing laugh followed. "Get up," he demanded. Dutifully, he rose to his feet. Standing proudly, the boy squared his jaw and stared stoically forward, chin up. "Why do I do this?"

"So that I may be a resourceful wizard and no longer a disappointment to the Malfoy name," he answered. "Once that happens, I will no longer deserve to be punished." Emotionlessly, Lucius stood tall despite the pain in his chest and stomach accompanied by a stinging sensation and the dampness of the blood trickling down his back.

"Very good," the wizard answered.

"Why did your mother die?"

"She suffered complications during birth because of me." When his bottom lip trembled, he heard the crackling of the wizard's wand. "I killed my mother." Quickly, he soullessly stared forward. "Also, women are very weak."

"You may go to your room now."

"Thank you sir," he replied.

On his way upstairs, he bumped into his Uncle Knaven, a younger, longhaired version of his father. "Your father is still trying to correct the mess he made. You're a cancer on this family and always will be. When you were born, your mother was so happy for a few days. Afterwards, she suffered from a terrible infection that you caused and died a horrible death. For every ounce of happiness you bring to someone, they suffer twice as much misery. That is your curse." Then he slapped his back but Lucius refused to acknowledge the pain. "After you killed your mother, your father should have put you in a sack with some rocks and thrown you in the lake." Thankfully, Knaven went to his study where he and the wizard started arguing.

Quietly, Lucius went to his room. On his bathroom countertop sat three shot glasses filled with potions: one for internal injuries, one for bruises and one antiseptic. As emotionless blue eyes stared back at him, he discovered that he longer felt the need to cry. Physical pain reminded him to block his emotions: a survival technique he learned from childhood. Nowadays, he only felt numbness or hatred. Once he made his choice, he smiled. _One of these days old wizard, you will feel my wrath and so will your brother. _

To avoid spending the day with and most of his summer with the most hated wizard ever, Lucius traveled to Knockturn Alley to Borgin and Burkes, a small shop filled with various dark magical items from around the world. The dark haired clerk, slightly younger than his father, came towards the counterfront. "Good Morning, Lucius," Tom exclaimed.

"Good morning, Lord Voldemort," he whispered.

"Planning to help me catalog and study more of our magical antiquities," he asked.

"Of course," he remarked.

"Lucius you are one of the most talented young wizards I know. Your knowledge of magical artifacts is astounding. I don't know what I would do without you." He handed him a box of various items, a ledger and a quill. "I really wish they would hire you but they said they couldn't due to their budget."

"As if I need the money, I enjoy cataloging the antiquities."

"I glad you do and I enjoy your company." Afterwards, he made a few notations. "Considering your talents, you should spend a couple of years at Durmstrang. My instincts tell me you have a talent for the dark arts. Learning them is your best defense against them. With your knack for languages, you shouldn't have any trouble at all. After all, you've excelled at the other foreign schools you've attended."

"You've taken an interest in my education?" As he studied a griffon's claw, he grinned slightly.

"Of course I have," Tom replied. "I'm proud of your accomplishments."

At the end of that summer, Tom presented him with a long thin box. "This is a thank you for helping me. You did an excellent job this summer."

Lucius openned the box to reveal a Falsus Plume, a dark wizard's scribe that could imitate any handwriting. "Thank you very much," he replied. Once he returned home, he kept it in the treasure chest where he kept all the gifts his father didn't know about.

Upon completion of his fifth year of studies, this time as an exchange student at Durmstrang, Lucius laid in bed miserable, missing the traditional farewell dinner. After a couple of days with a high fever, he awoke just in time to begin his summer break. The nurse looked at him sympathetically. "Many sixteen year olds would have an issue with Dragon Pox since it is a young children's disease but you have an unusually high resilience. It is quite deadly for adults. While it is highly contagious, it is only contagious through bodily fluids: saliva or blood. Your family should be fine as long as they don't drink after you and no blood contact. You'll only be contagious for a week." She handed him a piece of paper. "Here are the instructions."

"Thank you."

Lucius arrived home well before the wizard. Calmly, he strolled into the kitchen, cutting his palm so that the blood poured into the tomato soup he ordered Dobby to make for dinner before he moved to the flask of dinner wine. Prominently, he placed his class standings in the center of the wizard's desk. Artistically, he poured the ink from the wizard's inkwell into the shape of the sun with waves of light beaming forth, his namesake. Casually, he propped his feet on the wizard's desk while pretending to smoke his pipe and sip cognac from his snifter. Methodically, he arranged the potions that he would need on his bathroom countertop while he burned the instructions the nurse gave him. Then he combed his hair that he had grown quite long.

"Lucius Malfoy, get down here this instant." With a smile, Lucius bounded down the stairs. A potent stun spell slammed him into wall before he even entered. "Get in my study now." Enfuriated, the wizard kicked him in the chest. Grabbing him by his hair, he dragged Lucius into his study. As he did, Lucius bit his hand, spitting blood into the wound just before he spat blood onto the precious Oriental rug. Instantly, the wizard held his crackling wand to his son's chest before kicking him in the abdomen repeatedly followed by a sound lashing from the riding crop. By this point, Lucius wondered if he would live long enough to savor his victory. "Go to your room! No dinner for you!" Though he puked bile, Lucius smiled as he crawled up the stairs.

At breakfast, the wizard tried to eat bread as he sweated and trembled. Lucius sat next to him and ate crepe suzettes, his favorite breakfast dish. "I could have done better in school but I had more of a workload than you realize. You see I also studied business and finance, including our own. In the event of your untimely demise, I could easily take over. From your symptoms, I think you might have Dragon Pox. If you do, as a grown man, it will kill you within forty-eight hours."

"Within our many Malfoy traditions, Father is a term showing recognition and veneration for the paternal protector and provider of the family. Can you think of one time that I ever called you Father?" When the wizard got up to go back to bed, he collapsed. Lucius bent over him. "You beat me in order to break me but you only succeeded in making me angry and hateful. When I'm not numb, those are the only emotions I feel."

"I've disabled the Floos so you can have a little peace and quiet. In addition, your wand looked dull and needed a little polishing. As a dutiful son, I'm taking care of that for you." Before him, a Malfoy sword hovered at his neck. "I've studied Malfoy magic behind your back since you were so afraid to teach me. Only one sword, it must be hard to concentrate with that fever." Knowing the sword could not spill Malfoy blood, Lucius walked through it and into the hall where he picked up a suitcase. "I'll be travelling for a bit and I've sent Dobby ahead to ensure all preparations are made; see you in a week."

"Get a nurse," the wizard begged.

"I'm sorry I didn't hear you." Lucius shut the door behind him. "Too bad Uncle Knaven has disappeared. Maybe on my travels, I'll find him."

On a fine spring day, at the age of eighteen, Lucius graduated with honors, from Hogwarts. At his graduation party amongst several of his peers, Lord Voldemort congratulated him. "Because of your talent societal status, and most of all because you are my most trusted friend, I would like you to join an association I've formed: The Knights of Walpurgis. This society promotes the interests of pure-bloods and their families."

"I am honored."

Over the next several months, Lucius and his pure blood breathren met monthly to discuss the history of their family's and the threats of impure bloodlines. Their mission was to keep the lines pure by continuing the traditions of encouraged marriages and ensuring governmental positions were held by members of pureblood families. Extensive research by Lord Voldemort proved impure lines resulted in weaker wizards and witches. Further, his research also concluded that Mugbloods and their sympathizers aimed to decimate many pureblood traditions. However, not once did he outwardly promote violence against them but merely the establishment of pureblood supremacy and the need of the old families to form a coalition so they could protect their interests.

After several months, Lord Voldemort requested a special audience at Malfoy Manor. "Lucius, you were an exchange student at both Beauxbatons and Durmstrang among others." He nodded. "You were in the company of many of the best families throughout Europe."

"Yes, I was," he acknowledged.

"I have a very special mission that I think you and only you are perfect for. Because of your past and your qualifications, you would be the perfect ambassador for the Knights. We need the support of the families throughout Europe and I think you could gain it." He sipped some wine. "As your friend, I also think you need some time away."

"I would be honored." Lucius smiled and raised his hand in a toast. "To the expansion of the Knights of Walpurgis," he said.

Over the years, Lucius recruited throughout Europe starting in Russia and working his way towards home. First, he would research each of the families. Using that knowledge, he knew just how to approach them. Once he charmed them, he would explain the benefits of the organization. Unification ensured that legally and socially the families retained their status against the Mudblood threat. By using his family name, contacts and as his lord put it, natural charisma, Lucius achieved phenominal results which pleased Lord Voldemort and in turn himself. Unfortunately, he never found anything regarding his uncle. In his third year, Lucius began his recruitment efforts in France.

At a ball in Paris that summer, he diligently recruited the Burdois family by charming the lovely Gizelle Burdois. A passel of bachelors competed for the raven haired, green eyed, pale but beautiful young widow. Luckily, for Lucius, she granted him an audience. "Dear Lucius, this is the fourth time you've asked me to join your society and this will be the fourth time I refuse." Flirtateously, she ran her finger down his cheek. "Such a handsome charmer, no wonder Lord Voldermort chose you."

"I appreciate the compliment." He kissed the back of her hand. "Please tell me why you won't join."

"Your lord supports the absolute purity of the lines. For now, that purity means no Mudbloods or Muggles in the lines. Once they are purged, who's next?" With a piercing intensity that unnerved him, she stared him straight in the eyes. "You may want to think about that."

"Maybe I should talk to your younger brother," he countered. "Isn't he the head of the family now? Soon he'll be old enough to act upon it."

"Leave Pierre alone," she demanded. Quickly, he strolled into the ballroom. However, the thought of Pierre completely escaped him when he saw her younger brother's stunning dance partner. Politely, he sought Gizelle once more. "Who is Pierre dancing with?"

"That is Narcissa Black." She laughed. "Rumor has it; she has a weakness for the French language. Trust Pierre to try his best." Lightly, she rested her hand on his arm. "She's engaged to a wizard named Edwin Mesmer."

"Not any more," he muttered as he approached the ballroom floor. Years ago, she was a gangly teenager that he barely acknowledged, coupled with a four-year age difference made her nonexistent in his world until now. Now, he found himself completely transfixed.


	2. Angel in the Rain

Chapter 2 – Angel in the Rain

For the summer before her final school year, Narcissa Black stayed in Paris: her reward for receiving excellent grades in school. Wearing a strapless pink and white chiffon ballgown with a tiny, feathered mask, she chatted with her friends as she scanned the Roccoco ballroom of the converted Gothic church. A plethora of wizards and witches in stylish robes and gowns wearing ornate costumes and masks filled the room. Par normale, few of the wizards danced leaving many witches partnerless. "Pardon mois," a blue-eyed raven-haired boy of about fourteen, dressed as a musketeer, addressed her. "Je m'appelle Pierre Burdois. Voulez-vous danser avec moi?"

"Oui," she replied. Before she left, she excused herself with her friends. "You know me. I'm a sucker for French. He might be young but at least he's dancing."

As they danced, he flirted outrageously which amused her. Once the song finished, a tall, strikingly handsome wizard with an excellent build, long silver hair and piercing blue eyes dressed as a privateer, in stylish black robes trimmed in cobalt blue with a mask to match, tapped his shoulder. "Pardon," he said to Pierre. Then he kissed her hand. "Je serais honoré si la plus belle femme que j'ai jamais vu de danse avec moi."

While she didn't speak the language, she gleamed that he would be honored if the most beautiful woman at the ball would dance with him. With a series of twirls and intricate moves, they attracted the attention of the rest of the ballroom. Because of the mask and her assumtion that he was French, she didn't recognize him at first, but his eyes and silver hair gave him away. "You're Lucius Malfoy. You were a few grades ahead of me and one of my encouraged marriages."

With a brief smile, he nodded. "I received a note from your family a year and a half ago while I travelled that ended the arrangement. Since you refused our engagement, would you at least stroll with me in the arboretum?"

"Yes," she agreed taking his arm. "Why did you speak French earlier?"

"Just in case, you only danced with Frenchmen," he said with the most disarming smile. "Rumor has it that our arrangement ended because you finalized one of the other arrangements with Edwin Mesmer."

"The rumors are true. It just happened but it wasn't anything against you. Between our few years' difference in school and you being an exchange student so often, we barely knew each other. When one is in school, four years is a lifetime." He nodded. "Besides, you have several choices. Honestly, I didn't think you would notice."

"Rencently, I have." Appreciatively, he glanced over her. "Maybe you should reconsider some of your prior arrangements?"

"I might." _I already have_. Momentarily, she gazed at the stars. "I'm sorry about your father."

"Don't be." Then he seemed distant.

"I know it must be rough being the head of the family at such a young age." Impulsively, she hugged him. At first, he stiffened but then gradually he put his arm around her shoulders. "Why are you staying in Paris?"

"I have business here." Now, he looked at her and smiled. "Normally, I like the comforts of home but lately I prefer travel to the lonliness of the manor."

"I understand." Though she felt an attraction for him, she sensed no emotion from her stoic companion. Only his words and an occasional smile indicated his feelings. _Maybe he'll warm up if we chat more_. "I dream of travelling the world. This is my first trip abroad but I have been all over Great Britain."

For what must have been hours, they discussed the many places they travelled, with his travel far exceeding hers. Several times, he delighted her with his acerbic wit though he remained guarded. As they sat upon the stone bench of the garden, tiny drops of tepid rain fell.

"We should go inside." He offered her his hand.

With a flick, she removed her comb, letting her hair cascade down. Like a statue, he stared at her as if she were mad while she removed her shoes. "Lucius Malfoy if you wish me to reconsider certain arrangements, you'll take off your shoes and cape and dance with me in the rain." In the distance, the music resonated in the air through the warm drizzle. He looked astonished. "It's fun."

Surprisingly, he did. Regally, he bowed and extended his hand. "Mon ange sous la pluie," he said. Eventually, he held her closer than polite company would allow, which delighted her. Light danced in his eyes when he looked at her: the first time he showed any genuine emotion the entire night. When the sprinkle ended, he dipped her. For the first time, he heartily laughed. "That was most enjoyable." Then he pulled her close and tilted her chin up. "Have you reconsidered any of your other arrangements?" Gently, he caressed her cheek.

"I need more convincing." With a butterfly kiss that tickled her lips and weakened her knees, he convinced her.

Once she returned to her hotel, she wrote a break-up note to Edwin. Though he was nice and she loved him, the passion and kinship she felt for Lucius in only one night made her choice for her.

Every weekend that summer, Lucius dazzled her with evenings of dancing, opera, sightseeing and more. Never had she been with such a proper gentleman whose manners remained icy but once in a while, his eyes revealed more. Edwin wrote her several times begging her to reconsider but she couldn't. Even though Lucius never told her he loved her, she somehow knew he did, just as much she loved him.

One evening, after a romantic carriage ride, they picnicked beneath the stars amongst the rolling hills and waterfalls of a secluded park. "Mon ange sous la pluie," he whispered.

As he trailed kisses down her chest, deftly unbuttoning her shirt, her body felt more alive than ever. "Oh, Lucius." She moaned when he pushed her skirt up. Desperately wanting to experience the unknown, her thighs trembled as she parted her legs. Though her pulse raced and her body begged to continue, she pushed against him. "No," she stated vehemently. Sighing, he sat up. "I'm sorry but I haven't and I planned to wait until I'm married." Silently, he sat staring at the stars. "Please don't be angry."

"I'm not angry. I just need a moment." Now she saw sincerity in his eyes, as he kissed her lightly. "I respect your wishes." As he stood up, he extended his hand to her. "Will you trust me?"

"Of course I trust you," she replied.

Within moments, he apparated them into his hotel room. "I was going to give you this at dinner tomorrow but I think now would be more appropriate." From his dresser, he handed her a giftwrapped square box.

Enthusiastically, she opened it to find a snowglobe. Within it stood an angel dressed just like she was the night they met and the angel looked just like her. When she shook it, tiny crystals that looked like rain instead of snow surrounded her. The nameplate read, "Mon ange sous la pluie." Throwing her arms around his neck, she kissed him. "This is the most wonderful present ever. Thank you."

"There's a secret compartment so you can hide your jewelry. Only certain words will open it. Let me show you." As he held the globe, he kneeled. "Will you marry me?"

Behind the nameplate, a tiny drawer opened to reveal a dazzling ring with a rectangular green emerald embedded in a large diamond setting on a white gold band. "Yes," she answered with tears of joy as he slipped it on her finger. "I love you so much."

After they kissed, he unexpectedly apparated them to the park. "You are far to tempting to be in my hotel room."

They continued dating for the rest of her two weeks in Paris. Though things were steamy, dutifully, he would stop at a certain point in order to respect her wishes; though many times, she wished he didn't. During her Christmas break, he gave her a wealth of extravangant jewelry.

In January, Edwin returned from his trip abroad so she agreed to have dinner with him. During the two years they dated, she loved him and he treated her kindly. She found him attractive enough with his long curly black hair and dark eyes. "Edwin, I loved you but when I met Lucius, there were fireworks. He and I belong together."

"Lucius Malfoy's political allegiences, not to mention his family's history, make him a monster. Further, he is so cold. He merely romanced you because you were his best choice of his encouraged marriages."

Looking into Edwin's eyes, she doubted Lucius' love for her. "Deep down, he's not like that."

"Has he ever told you he loves you?" Edwin's eyes revealed such kindness. "That's what I thought." As he walked her back to her room, he put his arm around her. "Your feelings for him were just a crush while our feelings are real." Within her room, he unbuttoned her dress. "The reason you're confused is that we never deepened our love. We shouldn't wait until marriage. This IS what you want. You love me."

Narcissa woke up in her private chamber with a dull throb and a bit of blood on her sheets. Almost as if she dreamt it, she ended her resolve of viginity until marriage, agreeing to sleep with Edwin to deepen their love. After he left, she regretted her indiscretion. Once she bathed, she ripped the sheets off the bed and quickly took some contrceptive potion. From the fireplace, she contacted Lucius unable to bear the guilt. "I'm sorry. I can't marry you." Abruptly, she ended their conversation and crawled into bed.

Immediately, Lucius appeared in her room. "I demand an explanation." Because of her guilt, she buried her face in her pillow and wept. "Contraceptive potion," he remarked angrily. "Who was he?" Gently, he turned her to face him. "Tell me who he was."

"Edwin. I don't know why I did it." Tearfully, she looked at him. "I'm so sorry." When he sat in the bed next to her, she wept against his shoulder. "I wanted to wait until marriage, for you." She looked up at him. "Thinking back, I can't understand why I did it."

"I think I know why." Tenderly, he stroked her cheek and his entire demeaner softened. "As far as I'm concerned, you have remained faithful and your purity intact." The genuine sympathy in his eyes dissipated all her doubts. For the first time his shields vanished; a passionate but tender love showed in his eyes. In that moment, she knew that their hearts joined. "Our wedding night will be no less special. My feelings for you haven't changed." That night, he stayed with her, showing her more compassion than she experienced from anyone.

After breakfast the next morning, he kissed her goodbye. "I have matters to tend to."

"Expelliarmus," Lucius commanded the moment Edwin arrived in his home. "Flipendo!" Forcefully, Edwin slammed against the wall and slowly slid down. "You entranced my fiancée and forced yourself on her."

"For years, I waited for her but then you come along. You simply dazzled her with your money. How long before she sees who you really are?" He glanced to what appeared to be Muggle history books. "We are certainly better than they are but we can learn from their history. The Muggle world had a leader similar to your lord. Power is very seductive, especially when promised by a lunatic. Eventually, your thirst for power will destroy your family. When it does, she'll no longer love you."

"My political beliefs have nothing to do with what you did to Narcissa." Carefully, he avoided Edwin's eyes as he shoved his crackling wand into his chest, making Edwin scream in agony. Once he suffered for a while, Lucius stopped. "That is for Narcissa." Then, he commanded a Malfoy sword and sliced Edwin across his abdomen but not too deeply. Desparately, he thirsted for Edwin to feel pain. Once satisfied, he would allow him some healing potion.

"Avert your eyes Lucius so you know these words will ring true because of who you are and that I'm not using my familial ability." Lucius dutifully looked away from Edwin's hypnotic eyes. "One day Narcissa and your future family, should she give you one, will realize the loathesome, selfish, cold-hearted wizard you are. When they do, they'll leave you. You'll end up alone. Maybe what I did was wrong but I tried to save her from you."

Briefly, he caught Narcissa's scent on Edwin along with the blood. Something inside him snapped. Enraged and in a gory haze, he physically attacked Edwin strangling him with his own entrails. In revulsion, he looked at all the blood covering him. _While I did this, I enjoyed it. Do I regret the act or the thought of being caught? _Before, with his father, it was self-defense of sorts but he enjoyed it. Dropping to his knees, he stared at the grotesque sight, still wondering. _What do I do now?_

Soon after, covered in blood, Lucius apparated to his friend's home. "What happened?" Using his wand, Lord Voldemort cleaned him.

"I murdered Edwin Mesmer," he replied still shocked.

"I'm sure he deserved it. He's a Mudblood sympathizer." After he sat him on the couch, he placed some tea in front of Lucius. "What you did to your father and then Edwin was justice. They both deserved it."

"I did it for her." Now back to reality, Lucius' hands stopped shaking. _Since I met her, I knew I would die for her. Instead, I killed for her._

"Since there will be an inquiry and I'm sure you're a suspect, I'll remove all traces of evidence that you were there. Further, we will make sure you have an alibi." While Lucius accepted his act, Voldemort ordered Crabbe and Goyle over.

"I have to tell Narcissa what happened," he reasoned.

"You absolutely cannot do that," Voldemort countered. "If you tell her about Edwin, your father or any of the other things we've discussed, she'll no longer love you. As your friend, I've seen how happy you've been. I cannot bear to think of the despair you'll feel once she leaves you. You need to be very careful about the things you tell her."

His stomach sicked at the thought of losing her. "I can't lose her."

Once Crabbe and Goyle arrived, Voldemort placed a chess set in front of them. "We all played wizard chess after dinner. Build your alibi for when the questions are asked."

"In my home, I have something that will help in case we're subjected to Veritaserum. Thank you my lord. You are my true friend."

The following day, the Daily Prophet featured its most grotesque story in recent history. Inside the home of Edwin Mesmer, Aurors found him strangled by his own entrails. When the Ministry questioned Lucius, he had an airtight alibi. However, everyone knew better. Faithfully, Narcissa believed her fiancé. After all, he submitted to Veritaserum.


	3. Tear Drop Falls

Chapter 3Teardrop Falls

Three days after she graduated, Narcissa wed the wizard of her dreams in a ceremony that followed the Malfoy traditions. Because of school, she opted for a very small ceremony with close friends and family only.

On her wedding night, Narcissa anxiously stood before her new husband in her 1800 turn of the century antique white satin wedding dress. Slowly, Lucius nibbled her earlobe before he trailed kisses down the nape of her neck. With each kiss, she felt more and more alive. Startled she jumped slightly as her dress toppled down around her to reveal the while lace teddy she wore beneath, all for him. "Never be frightened of me Narcissa. I promise to never hurt you." As he laid her down on the bed, he unbuttoned her teddy with delicate kisses following each button. Waves of pleasure engulfed her before her husband joined her in the most intense, magnificent experience she ever knew.

Afterwards, she cuddled in Lucius' arms. "That was incredible." She handed him a small giftwrapped box, which revealed a tiny teardrop pearl necklace. "This necklace was passed down from my great grandmother. It was my baby necklace and until my engagement and wedding rings, my most treasured piece of jewelry."

"I will wear it always," he promised as he put it on his wrist. "This is for you." He handed her a small box. Within it, she found a framed picture or rather half picture of a silver haired, ethereally stunning woman who looked up at someone lovingly who constituted the missing part of the picture. "It is a picture of my mother, the only thing I have of her. The other part of the picture was my father."

"She was beautiful. Tell me about her." Because of her looks, she suspected that his mother was a full-blooded veela.

"She died when I was a baby. I do not wish to discuss the matter further." Quickly, he put on his robe and went to the window.

Narcissa suspected he had a difficult childhood but figured eventully he would tell her about it. After giving him a few moments, she joined him with a hug before running her finger down his chest, flirtatiously. "Lucius, my love, I want more."

For over a year, Narcissa enjoyed life with her husband despite that fact that he would never open up to her. Instead, he busied himself doing the bidding of Lord Voldemort. During this time, Lucius manipulated within the government. Though she supported pureblood supremacy, she didn't support the war as they called it. Until this point, the war consisted of a multitude of small skirmishes, which started during the time of Lucius' recruitment and through the beginning of her marriage.

After the end of his first year of marriage, Lord Voldemort requested his presence. "I won't kill," Lucius asserted. "I'm not a murderer." Until this point, others had led the battles, leaving him to recruit and manipulate within the government.

"Have you forgotten your past already?" Lord Voldemort looked at him in disbelief. "You murdered your father and Edwin Mesmer. Do you think Narcissa could love a murderer? However, she could love a war hero. That is the opportunity I'm giving you."

A few days before his first battle, over breakfast, he presented Narcissa with a diamond necklace. "Narcissa, I have several business trips scheduled for the next few years. Though I will be away frequently, you will be in my thoughts."

"When you're away, I'm in your thoughts but when you're here I'm not!" Then she threw the necklace at him. "You never talk to me! Half the time you ignore me!"

"That is not true! I give you everything you need! You want for nothing!"

For hours, they screamed at each other until they could barely whisper. "You only wanted a trophy wife. That's all I am to you."

As she turned to leave, he grabbed her wrist and pulled her to him, refusing to let go. "You are everything to me. I would die without you."

For the first time in months, she once more saw his shields vanish, revealing the Lucius she loved with all her heart. Grabbing his collar, she pulled him to her and passionately kissed him. Over the next few days, they christened every room in the manor.

A few weeks later, Narcissa discovered she was pregnant with a baby boy, pleasing her husband to no end. During her pregnancy and after she blessed him with baby Draco, Lucius would return from his business trips like a conquering hero. The cherub who greatly resembled his father would clutch his father's finger and give him a charming smile every time he saw him. Even thought she suspected more than just business trips, she didn't want to think her husband lied to her.

Under orders, Lucius began clearing house through a series of battles in Europe. Using fear as his ally, before an attack he would warn of a forthcoming assault. Psychological warfare ensured any innocents would leave and the mere mention of Voldemort or Death Eater struck fear into their enemies. On the day the war ended, the Malfoy family would gain even more prominence, leaving his son to inherit a kingdom. Narcissa would be most pleased once he confessed that the business trips were battles, after they had won the war.

Under orders of Lord Voldemort, the night of October 31st, wearing his Death Eater hood and mask, Lucius entered the encampment: an inconsequential hold-up of Mudbloods, Half Bloods, and Blood Traitors: a small French hamlet called Le Sang D'hiver. Lucius felt the village held no military nor other significance but orders were orders.

Amongst the dense grey smoke that made it near impossible to see, multi-colored bolts of light sporadically shot through the air while the dark mark loomed above the chaos. Occasionally tall pointed black hoods sliced through the smoke while screams pierced the eery silence. At the peak of battle, Lucius had a dozen victories under his belt. With defeat inevitable, many of the rebels scattered amongst the carnage committing random acts of terrorism. Proudly he looked onward, assessing his victory, when something constricted his leg.

When he looked down, he saw a small girl of about five clinging to him, carrying a teddy bear and a canteen. She had jet-black hair that hung in spiral curls, with green eyes, alabaster skin and a button nose. Her knees were covered in smudges of dirt, and she was wearing a little brown jumper. "What are you doing here child?"

Right now, I can't see very well because the smoke hurts my eyes. Because I'm sick, I can't walk very well." _No wonder they left her behind._ "My father won't wake up even though I shook him. Can you get me a potion that will help?" _All this carnage and this child shows no fear while the adults are cowering._ "Why are you wearing a hood and mask?"

"I wear these because I need to. What is your name?"

"I'm not supposed to tell anyone my name or I'll get in trouble. Also, I must be very brave like my father told me."

"You are very brave." Though his hand shook, he aimed his wand at the child. "Close you eyes," he ordered. His hand shook profusely. In all the battles, never had he killed a child. Desperately, he tried to find the courage to do so. _I won't kill a child. Maybe I have done many dreadful things but I will not cross this line. _ Thick smoke billowed around them.

"If I close my eyes, I won't be able to find my father." Sporadically, green bolts of light shot through the smoke. "Those are bad. I don't want the green light to hit me." Trusting eyes stared at him. "I know you won't let the green light hit me."

As he gazed into those green eyes, he saw absolute purity of heart coupled with courage in the most adorable little girl he had ever seen. Never had anyone looked at him with such absolute faith except his son. In that moment, his heart melted. _I'll save this child._ _If Voldemort finds out, I risk death. With my Occlumunency skills, he won't find out. I will take her home and tell everyone she's my niece. Despite everything, I will do at least one good deed. I am not a monster. _ "I promise on my family's honor the green light won't hit you. My cloak will protect you, but you must stay quiet until I tell you to talk." Unobserved, he carried her on his back beneath his cape.

With determination, another Death Eater in disguise approached him. "We're almost done. Have you seen anymore rebels?"

_Please child, stay quiet and don't move._ "No, I think we've handled the situation quite admirably." While wrapping her arms and legs tightly around his torso, he felt her hold her breath.

"Lord Voldemort will be most pleased," he replied as he walked away.

Looking around, he saw the shortest way out of the fray. Casually, he walked that way. With quick strides, another of his troupe approached, wand ready. Once he spoke, Lucius recognized him as Goyle. "Stop!"

The child's arms tightened around his chest. Then she rested her head between his shoulder blades. _Do I stun him to keep the child safe? I could use a memory spell and make him forget the incident. _"What is it?"

"Several of our own have been killed very recently. Claws ripped through their throats, so it appears. They didn't even get a chance to scream. We suspect a werewolf, but no one has seen anything at all. Be careful!" Frantically, Goyle checked his surroundings.

"But it's not a full moon. Maybe a rebel is using a spell we haven't heard of." Using a casual tug, Lucius closed his cape more. "I will be very careful. Thank you." _At least my paranoia will be understandable. _At the edge of the smoke, he almost tripped over a large foxhole. Ensuring none of his compatriots could see him, he knelt down. "You may get down now."

Quietly, she climbed down, but her wobbly legs gave way and she fell. "I'm sorry." For a moment, she looked ashamed.

"Once I finish here, you can take a nice bath and I'll get you a pretty new dress." Caringly, he brushed the dirt from off her. He pointed inside the foxhole. "Hide in here until I come get you. Do not come out for any reason." He squeezed her cheek. "You are the bravest little girl I've ever met."

"Thank you but what about my father? If you give me a potion, I'll find him and wake him up."

"We will discuss the matter later. In the meantime, you wait here until I get you." Luckily, no one watched them. Since he figured the child belonged to one of the rebels, he didn't worry about one of them hurting her.

"As long as you promise to come back," she replied as she curled up out of sight.

"I promise."

"I'll take a nap with Bibo while I wait." With the sweetest smile, her eyes lit up as she waved goodbye.

Shortly thereafter, tons of smoke billowed forth along with dozens of wizbangs creating a brief burst of chaos as the battle peaked for one last glorious moment. No one saw the werewolf that claimed over a dozen Death Eaters in the end. After the carnage ended and the smoke dissapated, a large pyre burned with all the bodies of the deceased. Lucius wandered the grounds, ensuring the little girl didn't leave her hiding spot. Here and there, he glanced towards the foxhole. Thankfully, the child stayed put. As the fire died down and many of his brethren left, he discreetly glanced at the lair and saw a smidgen of purple barely noticeable. Discretely, he meandered over. Fanning his cape, he kneeled in front of the furrow. "Come out little one. My cloak will hide you." When she didn't come out, he bent down and found nothing but Bibo. Sorrowfully, he picked up the little purple teddy bear. _Maybe she ran away in the noise and chaos. _In the mud, he noticed large male footprints but no small footprints.

Another Death Eater snatched the teddy from his hand. "Filthy toy of a filthy blood, burn it with its owner. Good job, letting the little mongrel be the last one." While Lucius stood there stunned, Crabbe levitated it into the fire, laughing as he did.

Solomnly, Lucius watched the remnants of Bibo burn while his eyes burned as well. Subtly, he took the leg of the teddy: the only remains left. Afterwards, he shed his Death Eater accoutrements and went home wherein he learned of Voldemort's death but he didn't care about that at all.

Quickly, he went to his study where uncontrolled tears flowed forth as he stared at the piece of stuffed animal. _Just a baby, you didn't deserve that._ _For want of one day, you were murdered because you trusted me._ _Why couldn't I save you? _

"Lucius, are you alright?" Narcissa lightly tapped on the locked door. "Lucius, please let me in."

"Leave me," he ordered. With a flick of his wand, he ensured the doors wouldn't open for any spell, no matter how much force she exuded. Another flick ensured that he wouldn't hear her pleading, nor she his sobbing.

Narcissa listened to her husband sob, ever so briefly, after hearing news of Voldemort's death, before he cast a silencing spell. Yet again, he shut her out. Several hours later, she packed a suitcase for her and her son. "Draco, we're going to spend some time in Prague while your father mourns Voldemort. Once your father is himself again maybe we won't be second wand anymore. You are my precious baby and I love you so much."

For several hours, the child's trusting eyes burned in Lucius' memory, and his promise to keep the green light from hitting her echoed in his mind. _I failed her._

Then his father's words echoed in his head. "_That's what happens when you show weakness."_

_It was just as the Dark Lord had said, "Why distinguish the victims?" _

_Better yet, it was just as his Uncle Knaven said, "You're a cancer." _

Somberly, he put the token in the bottom drawer of his desk and removed a small mirror. Unable to bear this new pain, he returned to the familiar pain: pain he knew how to deal with. Continually, he touched his crackling wand to his arm. Despondently, he stared in his mirror at his glazed eyes and trembling lip. _Show no weakness_. He repeated the words in his head, and the pain to his arm, until his eyes stared coldly back and his lip no longer trembled. Once he numbed himself, he sought solace in his study for several days so Narcissa wouldn't see his weakness.


	4. Success

Chapter 4 Success

"The measure of a man's success must be according to his ability. The advancement he makes from the station in which he was born gives the degree of his success." Sir Walter Besant

**Over the next few years, Narcissa busied herself in raising her son, showering him with affection, while Lucius only did so modestly, except when it came to birthdays and Christmas. On those days, the presents Lucius gave Draco thrilled him. During this time, the marriage suffered likewise. While her husband showed her great affection in the bedroom, and showered her with gifts, he rarely confided in her, and kept his business dealings private. For her part, she succumbed to the gifts and parties, becoming the wife a man of his status needed. However, many times during her marriage, she secluded herself in all aspects, due to her husband's treatment of their son. **

**At nearly age seven, Draco contracted Dragon Pox. With Lucius away on business in Cairo, Narcissa sat with her feverish son, staying up with him forty-eight hours, while the nurse sporadically made house calls as well. Instead of his fever breaking as it should have at the end of the two days, Draco lost conciousness. Immediately, she contacted the nurse once more. When the nurse gave Draco a most unfavorable prognosis, due to the severity of the strain, Narcissa contacted her husband. "Lucius, it's Draco. It seems this strain of Dragon Pox is far more virulent than we suspected. He should have awakened by now, but his fever is continuing and he's lost conciousness. I've been reading to him. Sometimes, patients awaken by hearing the voices of loved ones. You have to come home now." **

**She sobbed while she held her son in his bed as he fell into a deeper sleep. Though she wanted to stay awake, exhaustion took its toll. When she awoke, she found Draco in a light sleep, muttering incoherently. She hugged him tightly, to find his shirt slightly damp. "I love you Draco. Now drink this." At the foot of his bed, she found a large present. **

**"I love you too, Mother." Half asleep, he looked around the room while he drank his water. "Where's Father?"**

**"He's away on business." Closing his eyes, he leaned back, dejectedly. "Honey, you have to eat some soup and drink some tea. Going back to sleep now can be very dangerous." She pulled the box to him. "Your father sent you a present." Draco's eyes lit up. "If you eat all your soup and drink all your tea, I'll let you open it." She knew that he needed to build his strength and move about. **

**Once he finished, he ripped open the wrapping. "Mother, it's a flying carpet!" ****_Your father must have negotiated with one of the pharoahs. Those are extremely rare. _****He inspected it closely. "His name is Tarooj. I've read all about them." He pointed to a couple of books on the subject he had taken from the library. "They can take you to any address and they won't let you fall off." Excitedly, he unfolded it and hopped on before she could protest. Immediately, Tarooj swooped out an open window and flew around the grounds for hours.**

**"Draco, come in here and eat your dinner. You have to keep your strength up. No more flying tonight."**

**Then they feasted on chicken noodle soup. As he ate his soup, she saw him smirking. Soon, she noticed that his chair back wasn't behind him. Peeking under the table, she saw him sitting on Tarooj. "Draco, you're being naughty," she said with a smile.**

**"You said no flying, but you didn't say anything about hovering." Then he laughed.**

**From that point forward, she had to order him to eat and exercise if he wished to fly Tarooj. Often, when he was reading, he would sit atop Tarooj, hovering in his study. A couple of weeks passed before Lucius returned from his business trip. Because of her anger at his lack of concern, she let him discover for himself that their child lived. For the next couple of years, he found he had a wife only when she had an itch that needed scratching.**

The summer before Draco started school, over a polite dinner, Lucius informed her of the different encouraged marriages he had arranged for their son. Each arrangment benefited them either socially or commercially. Most of the families she knew, except for one in Rome: the Gasparo family.

Even though she issued her request to visit last minute, Leon Gasparo, an olive-skinned man of average build and height, with black hair and kind eyes, graciously welcomed her to his estate in Rome. Located within a working olive grove, the villa combined a classic rustic feel with luxurious amenities. Various rooms featured artwork through the ages, including Muggle renaissance works. After their tour, Leon escorted her to his study, leaving Draco to admire the artwork.

"Until now I have only dealt with your husband. I'm pleased that you are interested in meeting my family. However, I haven't told my daughter about any of her encouraged marriages. I feel she is too young to understand. Moreover, I don't wish for her to worry, but just to enjoy her childhood before she endures puberty."

"I agree. We haven't told Draco either, for those same reasons."

"Excellent. Once Bianca returns from church with my son, they can meet and we can all enjoy lunch. Plix prepared some of the local favorites."

"I look forward to it. It's been awhile since …"

A sharp squeal interrupted her. "That would be my daughter."

When Narcissa entered the living room, a lovely olive skinned girl with long black hair in pigtails, in her church finest, tightly hugged her son. With his arms pinned, he looked stunned and confused. Grinning ear to ear, she looked at her older brother. "I told you God answered prayers; he gave me another brother, but one my own age." Putting on her most beseeching face, she looked at her father. "Papa, can I keep him, please? I promise to take care of him."

"One moment," he said. Quickly, he ushered Narcissa back into his study. "My daughter has always wanted a sibling her own age. For a few years, I managed to remove that notion, but lately the issue has come up again. Is there any chance you would let your son stay here for a few weeks? I would treat your son as if he were my own, and as you can see, my daughter would shower him with sibling affection. Maybe something would come of that in a few years?"

"After lunch, I'll ask him."

During lunch, Bianca explained each dish to Draco and told him about all the things they could do. Bianca animatedly chatted while Draco remained reserved, only showing excitement when he spoke of Tarooj. The children seemed to get along.

Afterward, in private, she spoke to Draco. "Would you like to stay here for a few weeks?"

"As long as Father wouldn't mind," he replied.

"If it is your wish, it will be just fine. I promise." _If we both disappeared, he might notice._

"Thanks mum," he said with a slight smile.

After she packed a suitcase for Draco, she left a note for Lucius, and toured some castles in Germany. A few days later, she received an owl from her son, pleading to come home because of mistreatment and starvation. Without hesitation, she rushed to Rome.

Leon poured her some tea. "I understand your concern. You've heard I run a strict household, and that your son went without food for two days for being impolite to our house elf." She nodded. "It's all true. Within my home, there are rules, which have been explained to Draco. He was told to apologize, and that until he did, he wouldn't be fed. Be assured that he is treated like my own children. If my children misbehave, they are punished, and when they behave, they are rewarded. However, I ask that you see for yourself as to his welfare, and reconsider ending his stay here. Hopefully, you'll agree that he is happy now, despite a rough beginning."

"Hopefully," she agreed. "To be fair, if my son is happy, then he may stay for his full three weeks."

"In five minutes, they should arrive home." As she watched from a hidden cubby in his office, Draco and Bianca walked in. "Good afternoon," Leon greeted. "Did you have fun today?"

Bianca kissed her father's cheek as she hugged him. "Yes papa. I loved dance class."

"Draco, I know learning to waltz, salsa and tango is not what a young wizard wants to do during his summer. However, you make my daughter very happy by accompanying her. When you get older, you'll find the ladies appreciate a great dancer." Affectionately, he patted Draco's back in a near hug that her son seemed slightly taken aback with, but not upset. "As a thank you, I think I have something you'll enjoy. I understand you are a great flyer."

"Sort of," he replied dismally. "I only finished second overall at flying camp."

"Second amongst children older than you, that is excellent," Leon commented with a smile. "My son Vico is part of the local Quidditch team. Because of your age, you cannot play in their matches but if you like you may join them during their practices."

"Yes, thank you very much sir." Her son's eyes lit up as he grinned ear to ear. "Since Bianca doesn't play Quidditch, she can fly Tarooj, if she wants, while I practice."

"That is very thoughtful of you. I will speak to Vico tonight. Dinner is at six so you need to be washed and ready then. You may both play now."

After they left, she resumed her chat with Leon. "My son may stay. He's happy here. Why did you administer such a punishment for being rude to a mere house elf?"

"First of all, I don't tolerate rude behavior at all in my household. Secondly, why would I tolerate rudeness to the one who prepares my food daily? That is quite dangerous."

When she departed that evening, she felt as if she gained a confidant in Leon.

Draco returned from his first year of school, proudly showing his father his marks. Overall, he placed second in his class standings, surpassed only by one: a witch named Hermione Granger, a Mudblood. Coolly, Lucius scanned his results. "You did well. Maybe next time you'll place first and not let a Mudblood exceed you."

Narcissa entered her husband's study in time to see the events that transpired. Immediately, she hugged her son. "We are so proud of you. You did excellent." Though she saw a little light enter his eyes, Draco looked at the ground morbidly. Unfortunately, since the age of eight or so, his father's pride meant more to him than anything, just like most boys. "We love you and we missed you so much."

A slight smile crossed his face before he turned to his father. "Father, I'll do better next time. I won't let a Mudblood beat me."

Once Draco left the room, she confronted Lucius. "Will you just once tell your son you love him, and that you're proud of him?" In case they fought, she cast a spell so that Draco would only hear incoherent mumbling outside the door.

"You coddle him enough for the both of us." Lucius buried his head in paperwork. "Besides, I want him to grow into a resourceful wizard."

"How dare you say that! I'm only trying to compensate for your complete lack of affection." She slammed a book down, hoping to make him at least look at her but he continued to stare down. "Your love and pride mean more to him than anyone elses. He worships you. I've never asked anything of you but please, just once, tell him you love him." Lucius continued to write, infuriating her. "Sometimes I wish I never married you, but then I wouldn't have Draco. Only he makes this marriage worth anything. "

Ten minutes after she slammed the door to his study, she regretted those words, for she did love him. Anxious knocking on her door broke her concentration. "Come in," she called.

Carrying a long thin box, meticulously wrapped, Draco ran in. "I found this on my bed. I wanted to open it with you and Father but you were both talking."

Lucius had to have it put there well before their fight, his way of telling Draco he loved him, replacing the actual words. "That present is from your father, because he's proud of you and loves you."

As he opened it, he shrugged. "This is a Falsus Plume. These are rare. I'll thank Father the next time I see him." Trying to counteract the damage, she spent the day with her son.

During Draco's second year in school, he joined the Quidditch team due in part to his practices during his summers. Yet again, an attempt was made to resurrect Voldemort, which failed to her relief. The following summer, at Draco's behest, yet again, she imposed on Leon to let him stay for a few weeks once more.

"Narcissa, I assure you that your son is no imposition at all. In fact, my daughter looks forward to his stays. During the school year, they exchange owls to stay in touch, and so that your son can practice his Italian. Actually, they only speak Italian to each other." They sat quietly, while she contemplated confiding in him. "Narcissa, is there something further you wish to speak to me about?"

"You treat Draco so well, while his own father treats him coldly. As his mother, I know I should do something. Sometimes, I …." It pained her to think of leaving Lucius. Despite everything, she still loved him.

He handed her a handkerchief. "Sometimes, you think about leaving him despite the fact that you love him."

"Your perspecacity serves you well. You are correct."

"My perspecacity is not as strong as it is in the females of the Gasparo line. You see, I've confided in you as well." He poured some wine for them. "May I impart my feelings on the matter?"

"Please," she replied.

"Draco worships his father. If you separate them, he will resent you for a very, very long time. Since I have seen the child's stubborness, I say that with certainty. During my own childhood, my parents treated me fairly and with love, which made it easier for me to be a good father. However, though it shouldn't be used as an excuse, not everyone is as fortunate. Sometimes, success should be measured by the amount of improvement one makes."

"You know something about Lucius' childhood?"

"Since the children are getting along, I made some inquiries, discreetly, within my own family, as to yours. My recently deceased aunt mentioned a few things to me. She met Lucius and his father when Lucius was ten years old. She suspected physical abuse and reported the matter. But upon investigation using Veritaserum, both denied it." Narcissa had suspected as much, but Lucius adamantly refused to discuss his childhood. "Later she saw him at a party, shortly after you were married. She said he loved you beyond measure."

"Thank you."

Leon went to an antique bookcase and flicked his wand. A very thin glass disc, eight inches in diameter, sat upon a wooden burnt umber pedestal. "This is an item my family has had for many generations. It is the **Animadverto Praevius. With it, you may see into the past. However, it only works in the area in which it is placed.** If you wish to use it in your home, you may, but in strict confidence."

"I would. Thank you so much."

"You have twenty-four hours before it will automatically return to the Gasparo household." Leon solemnly looked down. "I do not suspect nor accuse your husband of ill behavior towards you or Draco. However, if such an occasion arises, you both may seek solace in my home."

"While Lucius is cold, he has never behaved badly. Your offer is very much appreciated."

Using the **Animadverto Praevius in her husband's study, she investigated the past. "Summer of Lucius' childhood at age ten," she commanded with a flick of her wand. She flashed through the events until she saw an interaction between father and son. **

**"Did you practice your levitation today?**

**"Yes Father," Lucius replied.**

**"Let's see," his father ordered. Dutifully, Lucius levitated a quill, which dripped a few drops of ink on the carpet. "You're an idiot!" His father's wand crackled as he drove it into Lucius' stomach. Then he doubled over in pain and cried. His father grabbed his hair and pulled him up. "Stop with the tears. You're a disgrace to the Malfoy name." **

**Promptly, Lucius wiped away his tears and stood stoically. "I'm sorry to have disgraced the Malfoy name. I won't ever do that again."**

**"There will be an inquiry today. Drink this potion in case they give you Veritaserum. You'd better not tell them about your punishments." Then he removed the half picture of Lucius' mother from his pocket, which Lucius desperately tried to snatch from his father's hand, resulting in a firm slap across his face. "If you do, I'll destroy this." **

**After seeing the abuse he endured, sometimes she wondered how he had survived such injuries. Alone, Narcissa shed the tears that the young Lucius couldn't and the older Lucius wouldn't. She gained a new understanding and admiration for the wizard she married. Maybe he wasn't an ideal father, but he far exceeded his upbringing. For that, she was grateful. **

**Curiously, she went to her son's room to see what happened when Draco had Dragon Pox. She had often wondered how Lucius could simply drop off the gift and leave, or if someone else did his bidding. Prior to Draco awakening, she saw herself falling asleep. Shortly thereafter, Lucius entered their son's room.**

**Quietly, he placed the gift on the foot of the bed. "You're a strong, young wizard and won't let something like this defeat you." Promptly, he clasped his son's hands. "A lad of your age shouldn't be cooped up in his room on such a lovely day. Wouldn't you like a walk in the garden?" Gently, he picked Draco up and carried him out, returning a couple of hours later. "Did you enjoy our walk?" **

**Gently, he nudged the box against Draco's side. "This is Tarooj: a flying carpet. You've been reading about them. Don't you want to fly him? I bonded him to the Malfoy family so that no one could ever take him away from you." He placed Draco's limp arms on top of the present. "My son, please open your present. I know your birthday is a couple of days away but I give you permission to open it early." He waited but nothing happened. "There, there, if you wish to wait you can." **

**With a shaking hand, Lucius wiped a couple of tears from his eyes. Now, his voice shook. "I want to hear all about the latest book you read." Tenderly, he brushed his son's hair. "In a few years, you're going to tell me all about your first day in school, aren't you?" He squeezed Draco's hands and wiped away more tears. "You have to tell to me about these things." Unable to restrain himself, his tears flowed freely. "You're a very dutiful child. Your father orders you to wake up now." Now, he sobbed against his chest. "Please don't leave me."**

**Suddenly, Draco convulsed. Lucius jumped back, looking aghast before apparating away. ****_Oh my God! He thought that his actions killed Draco. _****Thinking back to when she didn't tell him about Draco's recovery, she sobbed. ****_My darling husband mourned that entire time. _**

**Seeing his past, she knew he exceeded his upbringing and his difficulty with showing emotion. Immediately, she washed away her tears, dolled herself up and left for the governor's office. "Good afternoon, Lester," she said to his assistant. "Is he in his office, alone?" The dark haired, rather tall, thin man looked shocked, but nodded. "Please make sure we're not interrupted." He nodded again. "I want my husband all to myself for a bit. Do you think you can run things alone for a few days?"**

**"As if I don't run things already," he replied. "When he's away, it only gets easier." Once he said that, a piece of chalk put a strike mark beneath Lester's side. The side under Lucius was down a few. **

**When she entered his office, Lucius looked at her startled. "What are you doing here?" She removed her coat to reveal a pink silk negligee as she sat on his lap. From his top desk drawer, he removed a tiny gift box. "This is for you."**

**"The gift will wait. I only want my husband." She ran her fingers through his hair. "I love you."**


	5. Viva La Vida

**Chapter 5 Viva La Vida[Viva La Vida by Coldplay is very much Lucius' theme song]**

**During Draco's third year of school, with baby steps, Lucius became more responsive, in private and only with her. Narcissa knew of the long road ahead, and that its conclusion would only be a few steps further. However, those few steps would be wonderful. Because of his childhood, and his fear of treating their son poorly, she figured it would be only after he took those steps with her, that he could finally take them with Draco. However, Lucius made it a point to take Draco to some Quidditch matches. Over all, their lives improved.**

**That summer at a soiree in Milan, she socialized while Lucius talked business with his compatriots. A familiar face greeted her. "Leon, I'm pleased to see you again."**

**He kissed her hand. "Would you care to dance?"**

**"I would love to." They danced. "Draco enjoyed his visit, as always."**

**"We enjoyed having him. He and Bianca still act like siblings, but there's always hope. Very soon, they'll both start their fourth year. They grow up too quickly." Then he dipped her. "You seem very happy."**

**"I am. Things are going much better." She gazed at her husband, who was still chatting in a corner. "Too bad, he's distracted with business."**

**"He's noticing you. Now that this song is ending, if I continue to dance with you, it might be considered suspicious or at least rude." The song ended, and they continued to dance as the next one began. "Now watch him make a beeline over here," he whispered in her ear.**

**Just as he predicted, Lucius came over and led her out onto the terrace. "Lucius, were you jealous?"**

**"Of course not," he replied. "Tonight is very special." Warm rain drizzled down. Then he took off his shoes and she did likewise. For several songs, she rested her head on his shoulder as they danced. "Mon ange sous la pluie," he whispered just before he kissed her ardently. "There's something I haven't told you, even though I've always felt it, since the first time we met." **

**Then the amorous look in his eyes ceased. Hesistantly, he stepped back from her as a dismal look crossed his face. He pushed his sleeve back to reveal the dark mark, which now moved. "I must leave now."**

**"I thought you stopped trying to bring him back, so we could just be happy."**

**"I did," he replied solemnly as he looked at her impassively. **

**"Please Lucius, stay with me. I agree with pureblood supremecy, but not his methods. You're not evil like him." She held his arm.**

**"I've tried heroism, but it wasn't meant for me," he replied as he apparated away.**

**"Lucius!" In the rain, she sobbed. The rain ended, and she returned home to see her son. **

**The chill returned to Malfoy Manor. The Daily Prophet soon featured a story about Death Eaters terrorizing the World Cup Quidditch Championship, which confirmed the loss of her husband to Voldemort.**

**During the autumn of Draco's fifth year of school, she received a very unexpected visitor: Vico Gasparo. The young man resembled his father, but had a thinner face. "Good afternoon," he said as he kissed her hand. "You are even more beautiful than I remember."**

**His deep voice resonated through her and she felt gorgeous. "Thank you, please come in."**

**He grabbed his broom and entered. "My father requests your presence regarding the marriage of my sister and your son. He wishes to discuss the matter with you alone, and in person." For some reason, she wanted to go, urgently. "If you wish to leave now, I have a portkey."**

**"Let me grab my wand and we can go."**

**When she arrived at the Gasparo residence, Leon greeted her warmly. Within his study, they exchanged pleasantries before the conversation took a more somber tone. "Narcissa, I apologize for bringing you here under false pretenses, but I had to. Everything you tell me will be held in strict confidence. How do you feel about Voldemort?"**

**"While I believe in pureblood supremecy, I don't support his methods. However, my husband does."**

**"That is just as I suspected, and I agree with you entirely." As he poured more wine, he looked very concerned. "Do you know who the three biggest threats to Voldemort are?"**

**"I know of two: Harry Potter and Dumbledore, but not a third," she confessed.**

**"The third is you." **

**When he said that, her wine almost came out of her nose. "Me? I don't understand."**

**"You influence your husband, and you could turn him againt Voldemort. Being Voldemort's second in command, Lucius has plenty of opportunity. Voldemort understands this." She sat in disbelief. "Voldemort will systematically eliminate anyone who can defeat him."**

**"No, I will not let him harm my husband!" Instantly, she stood up, ready to leave. **

**From outside the study, Vico spoke to her. "Please stay, my father wishes to speak to you more. Let him finish."**

**"Narcissa, I don't think he will directly kill your husband. If he did, he would lose support of all the families that your husband recruited, as well as his influence within the government. However, if he broke your husband's morale, he would have all that Lucius has accomplished while eliminating a threat. Your death would accomplish this." Narcissa digested this news before Leon continued. "This is all conjecture for my part, because of my studies of war and dictatorial strategies. If Voldemort doesn't percieve you as a threat, you will be much safer."**

**"Since my husband chose to support Voldemort, all the progress we made in our marriage is gone. Honestly, I don't know why Voldemort percieves me as a threat when my husband has clearly chosen him over me."**

**"Narcissa, give yourself more credit than that." He handed her a handkerchief. "My advice was just that. Don't feel obligated to take it."**

**"Your advice is sound. I will distance myself just as he has for so many years."**

**"Your husband knows political strategy better than most anyone; this might have occurred to him as well," he remarked with a comforting smile.**

**"I wouldn't know. It's not as if he confides in me."**

**When she returned, she found Lucius sitting at his desk, writing correspondence. "Lucius, your political dealings need to remain between you and Voldemort. Do not involve Draco or me. My feminine intuition tells me that your association with Voldemort might endanger our son. If it does, that is something I could not forgive." At the door, she paused. "Often, I wonder when I lost your heart." **

**Without looking up, he quietly muttered, "Goodbye Narcissa."**

**Over the next couple of years, she did just that, until her husband went to Azkaban for breaking into the Ministry. For his failure, Voldemort called upon Draco to murder Dumbledore. In sheer desperation, she begged Snape not to let that happen. To her relief, Severus helped her son. About a year after, her husband returned from Azkaban. Just as Leon predicted, Voldemort humiliated the once proud wizard. During that time, she comforted her husband as best she could. Somethimes, she wondered if Voldemort had planned it the entire time. The opportunity to let Voldemort die presented itself to her when Harry Potter assured her that her son was alive. Gladly, she took it. After the battle, the Malfoys gathered in the Great Hall, thankful to be alive. **

**Once the dust settled, they returned home to assess the damage. Using a Malfoy only ritual, and some artifacts hidden within the basement, Lucius fully restored every bit of Malfoy Manor to its former glory. Solemnly Narcissa and Draco removed all evidence of its unwelcome guests. Within a secret room adjacent to Lucius' study, she found some of Voldemort's private notes, which she destroyed. First, she found an odd warning with a few villages throughout Europe listed that said, "Take heed and leave us alone. Fear our children for they are the fiercest among us." At the bottom of it was a wax seal composed of a circle with two triangles inside. Next, she found a deathlist, mostly of Mudbloods. To her horror, at the end, she saw Draco's name with two reasons for him to be killed: master of the Elder wand, and suspected mixed blood – veela. Against her warning of this possibility, Lucius had followed his treacherous leader. **

**Upon completion of the ritual, Lucius entered his study just as his wife exited. Briefly, their eyes met as they wordlessly passed each other. Lately, he had seen resentment, sadness and fear in her eyes: all to his regret. However, with all that, her eyes always reflected love when they gazed at him. In that instant, he saw only unadulterated loathing in them, solely for him. Curiously, he looked around his study to see what suddenly caused that hatred. A shiny object on his desk caught his attention. Beneath his wife's wedding ring, he saw the death list that Voldemort made, which listed his son's name. In that moment, his heart dropped to the floor. Though he had one more day before he needed to report to the Ministry, he left. **

**Due to the overabundance of trials, they allowed him to meet with three officials, privately, to plead his case. Luckily, the three chosen for him were slightly sympathetic. "Mr. Malfoy due to your former coercion with Voldemort, despite the fact that you reconsidered your allegiences, punishment will be administered. In addition, your son, who will be summoned soon, may expect the same treatment. As to your wife, her allegiences have been unclear so no punishment will be set for her. In deliberation of you and your son's punishment, the favorable deposition by Harry Potter, on your behalf, will be considered."**

**"Thank you. As to my son's participation, he had no choice. Not only did Voldemort threaten the family if he didn't help, but prior to that, I forced his participation."**

**"There was no evidence of the Imperius Curse being used."**

**"It wasn't. However, as head of the Malfoy family, I can exude a powerful influence upon its members when I wish to, especially on my own child. My son had no choice. I will accept his punishment."**

**"Very well then," the judge acknowledged. "Each of you would have received one year's imprisonment in Azkaban. Due to the circumstances, you will serve both sentences. Because of your cooperation, and Mr. Potter's deposition, your sentence has been reduced."**

**"Please ensure that my son's record is expunged due to circumstances beyond his control."**

**"That will be done."**

**Once Lucius went to prison, Narcissa helped her son complete the cleanup of their home. At the banquet table, she and her son despondently ate alone. "Father must feel miserable. In two weeks, we can visit him. Though he managed to get preferential treatment as far as accomodations, he couldn't get more visitations than normal."**

**Dejectedly, she stared at her son who now looked like Lucius more than ever since he had grown his silver hair to his shoulders. Even with her lips and eyes, the resemblence remained uncanny, breaking her heart every time she looked at him. She refused to tell her son of the maniac's plan to kill him. Even though Lucius wouldn't have supported Voldemort if he had known that bit of information, Draco's heart would break. For his entire childhood, Draco did everything to gain his father's love even though he had it, unbeknownst to him. Despite her son being a top student, following his father's wishes without question and accomplishing many undertakings: some good and some bad, Lucius unfairly never showed pride in him. During his childhood, she tried to counteract much of the negativity from this. In her heart, she knew that her son needed to realize these things himself, and stand up to his father on his own accord; his last rite to becoming a man. **

After a week, she packed her bags: no longer could she bear her son's hero worship of the man who ruined their lives while wanting to burst out and tell him how much she hated his father. If she ever told him, he would resent her. In her absence, she hoped her son would stand up for himself. "Draco, I need to leave for awhile so I can clear my head." They hugged each other. "I love you so much."

Curiously, he looked at her abundance of suitcases. "Take as long as you need. I completely understand."

"I'll write you every week."

Deligently, they wrote each other for months, with him giving her reports on his father, and informing her of his internship at Hogwarts. Then he told her that he wished to pursue a career in politics, but did so in secret, not telling his father. From that letter, she knew he had started down the path to become a man. Afterwards, she kept writing to him weekly, though his letters became less frequent due to his full schedule.

Shortly thereafter, she went to a spa for several weeks of isolation and relaxation. Tired of all the misery of the past couple of years, she detoxified her body and soul. When she emerged from her isolation, she found no further letters from Draco but something better. Sorting through old newspapers, she found several articles on her son and his new love: to her surprise, Hermione Granger.

Thoughout Draco's school years, Lucius asked for reports on Harry Potter, which he dutifully gave. More often, at his own impetus, he reported on Hermione: telling how much she infuriated him with her always being just ahead of him in class. From the light in Draco's eyes as he gazed upon her, her son loved this witch and seemed happier than she had ever seen him. When she saw the delight he exuded and deserved, the fact that her son loved a Mudblood didn't matter at all. However, she knew Lucius would end the relationship any way he could. Immediately, she sent an owl to Hermione. The following day they conversed and she assured Hermione of her support.

Near Christmas, she returned. Draco strolled to her smiling. "Mother, I've missed you so much." He hugged her and kissed her cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too." She showed him the newspaper with the picture of him and Hermione. "This is wonderful. Once I've settled in, let's talk. I want to know everything."

Once she unpacked, they sat in her drawing room and chatted. "Mother, through our Provectus Potions project, I became friends with Hermione. All the terrible things I heard about Mudbloods were wrong. During the time I spent with her, I found her to be my intellectual equal so much so, that sometimes we complete each other's thoughts. Also, she's so warm and loving despite how I can be sometimes." He looked slightly ashamed. "Despite our past, she truly loves me and not the Malfoy heir."

"This makes me so happy. Her heritage doesn't matter to me. Only your happiness does." Affectionately, she squeezed his cheek. "All those years, she did more than just infuriate you." Slightly blushing, he lowered his eyes and smiled.

As he poured them some tea, his mood became solemn. "During my last visit with your husband, he insulted Hermione, so I stood up to him. Because I had a hunch of how he would react, I legally removed him as head of the family before the visit."

Wordlessly, she stared at him. _How could it go this far? Did he become as ruthless as his father did? Did I not have any influence on him at all during his childhood? _

"Though it killed me to do it, I had to, before he legally disowned me. As it stands, I did it after he verbally disowned me." As he sat next to her, he clasped her shaking hands. "I know I don't have the right to ask you this, but I will anyways. I'll support your choice either way. That prison leaches hope from one's soul. Every time I visited him, he asked about you. A slight hope that you're waiting for him is the only thing keeping him from slipping into complete despair. Though I'm no longer his son, please remain his wife until his sentence is complete. He deserves some compassion."

"That he does, and you make me very proud that you feel that way."

Over the next year, she alleviated many of the governership duties from her son, while getting to know Hermione. Further, she became friends with Hermione's parents. Even with all the happiness that surrounded her, at times she still thought of Lucius. As his sentence neared completion, she dreaded the inevitable but necessary divorce. One day an owl delivered a letter from him. For many days, she stared at it, presuming it was regarding their divorce, and possibly threatening her if she filed. Finally, curiosity bested her.

_My dearest Narcissa,_

_First, know that I have always loved you. You wondered when you lost my heart. My heart has belonged to you ever since we danced in the rain in Paris: mon ange sous la pluie, my term of endearment for you because you enchanted me that night. Never had I experienced so much enjoyment at a ball. Now, it means so much more. Dark rain befell us because of me, and you made things right: my angel in the rain._

_While I realize that I didn't love you in the way you deserved, I loved you with all my heart and I loved you in the only way I knew how. The public indifference was only an act; I've always burned for you. Never once did I cheat, or even consider it; I swear it on my family's honor. During my childhood, I maintained an emotional barrier to keep from being hurt, and I never let my feelings show, because I couldn't show weakness. Your opinion of me mattered more than anything, and I worried that you wouldn't love me if you knew my sinister secrets, for I know that I am flawed. That thought killed me._

_During our tumultuous marriage, you stood at my side while I chose to stand at the side of a leader who betrayed us. Power blinded me to his insanity. The depths of despair and regret for all the pain that my poor choices have caused you and Draco run so deep, that I could never hope to climb out of them. It has taken two years of separation from you and a year of separation from Draco to realize that. Certain beliefs of mine have also been proven false. Now I'll admit something I've never admitted in my life: I was wrong._

_Business and politics became my solace and unfortunately my downfall. Ignoring your intuition and warnings, I followed a madman who disgraced our family and defiled our home. In the process, he plotted to kill the most precious thing our marriage ever produced: our son. As head of this family, I failed, wherein a wizard of only twenty succeeded. _

_From what I know of our son's life and career, he has grown into a wizard to be proud of, in spite of me. While it was wrong of me to distance myself from him, I feared being close to him and harming him. When he was four, I realized I became a monster like my father. During our marriage, you asked only one thing of me: to tell our son that I loved him and I was proud of him, but I never did. Though I cannot take back those years he suffered, no matter what your decision is regarding our marriage, I will tell him once I am released, that I love him and how proud of him I am. This I swear on the family's honor. For too long, you've acted as a liaison between him and me, so please let me handle this matter on my own. He deserves to hear it from his own father._

_In essence, childhood bitterness, greed and ambition on my part made you a widow. All along, the time I spent with you was the most pleasurable time in my life. If those times are the only ones that I have with you, then they are my most precious treasures._

_If you'll welcome me back, you have my promise that I'll treasure every moment with you, and ensure we have many more glorious ones. While I can change a certain fraction, the core of my being will always remain broken. You know that of me more than anyone. However, the welfare of our family will be paramount, and not my own ambitions. _

_If you choose not to have me back, you have my understanding and my assurances that I'll not interfere with the family's lives, and that all possessions will remain with the family. Eventually, I would only ask your forgiveness. _

_My heart has always been, and will forever remain, yours,_

_Lucius_

Outside the prison, Narcissa awaited him. They kissed passionately. "There's something I've never said that you deserve to hear in every way I know how to say it. Je t'aime. Te amo. Ich liebe dich. Я тебя люблю. Ti amo. Σ' αγαπώ. любов ти. Diligo vos. I love you."

"Lucius, you're showing off."

"Of course, I am."

A year later, Lucius strode into the governor's office while Lester and Boyd chatted. "Working hard as always," he commented. The chalk struck one for him.

"You're here. It must be lunch time." The chalk then struck one for Lester. The door closed and Lester spoke quietly. "Wait for it," he commented as he counted down.

"Damn that Frolov," Lucius screamed from inside. Lucius showed them a gift basket that contained Russian sooshka, Prianik medoviy, brandy filled chocolates, plums in chocolate, russian chocolate candy, rye kvas, cherry juice, polish chocolate covered wafer cake, ptasie mleczko and Czar Nicholas II tea. "Apparently Frolov thinks I'm still in Azkaban. These are addressed to Narcissa."

"Frolov is a handsome man and everyone keeps thinking Narcissa will come to her senses; that, or you'll end up in Azkaban, again." Lester turned to Boyd. "Every time he goes to Azkaban, suitors come out of the woodwork. They say the third time's the charm." Then he turned back to Lucius. "Should I book a weekend getaway somewhere nice, so you can convince her otherwise? I suggest a long weekend since it would take a lot of convincing for her to turn down Frolov."

"Fine," he replied angrily as he started to eat the cookies.

"Your cholesterol will go up if you eat that. Boyd will have to tell your son. However, if you share, we won't tell." Lucius plopped the basket in front of them, removing some of the cookies and chocolates, before retreating to his office. "I kept track of all of Narcissa's suitors. Every now and then, I send a gift basket from one of them, to keep that fool on the right track. Keeping him jealous and busy ensures that he won't get bored. When he gets bored, he gets himself in trouble and winds up in Azkaban."

"You like having him around," asked Boyd.

"You know it. When he's not in Azkaban, people do everything I tell them to."

"I just can't believe he lets you talk to him like that," Boyd commented.

"Are you kidding? It helps him sharpen his tongue."

_Epilogue – Another teardrop falls…_

For nearly a decade, he enjoyed the happiest years of his life with his family. Stone by stone, the wall between him and Narcissa, his beloved soulmate, tumbled down. All the while, they savored a long lasting second honeymoon. Upon his return, he became the father his son deserved, with his son proudly referring to him as his best friend. Through his son's marriage, he gained a daughter that he adored, who bore three children into the family. All of them, he loved dearly. During all these years, his past occasionally haunted them, but the family came together and weathered the storms, with only a few healed bruises to show for it.

Despite his tumultuous childhood, and decades of poor choices, he now lived a life of happiness. Many critics agreed he deserved to be punished more for what he had done. For ten years, he lived a dream thinking he deserved love and happiness. For every ounce of happiness he grasped, two-fold of misery plagued his family.

For his years of supporting Voldemort, with all the death and carnage he inflicted, Karma avenged itself in the sacrifice of his grandchild, entirely his fault, ironically his favorite: the one who only saw the good in him. Somberly, he accepted the fact that he was a cancer on the family, just as his Uncle Knaven always said. In order for the family to thrive, the cancer needed to be removed. Gravely, Lucius packed his wardrobe.

Footsteps broke his thoughts as he packed the last of his bags. Wearing odd militaristic Muggle inspired clothing, tears streaming from his eyes, his son stood in the doorway, dismally watching. Draco grasped something behind his back: most likely his wand, readying for the kill. However, his son didn't need to surprise him, for Lucius willingly wanted him to take the revenge he rightly deserved. Dirty tears dripped from his Draco's jawline. "It was you," he said.

_Story continues in "Dans Le Noir" and "Of Wine and Revenge"_


End file.
